and this in general is not really always a good thing.

I never liked the word parents with the S. I never had parents. I had a mom and then somewhere a dad. So randomly today I had a thought about parents with the S.

Joey and I just about have the same situation with our parents but very different in small ways. So when I thought about this, it was something that applied to both of us.

I realized that maybe for the first time, we have parents with an S and more than 2.

We have parents that are new, grown within the last 3 years. We have parents that we adopt and parents that adopt us. Now most of the time, when you become an adult, you no longer care about parents and see other adults as just other adults.

I think it was just in us that we knew that certain vitals were never taught and that we still needed to learn and follow other men and women that seemed like good parents. We mimic what looks right and can learn from what seems wrong. We have started to learn a different type of love that we didn’t know, and with that came the “whether you like it(s) or not(s)”.

And we learned (in a non odd way), that men do love their children and do love us. That other than our Perfect Father above, there are men here that love us and it’s so foreign.

Okay, so my point. In realizing that we were having parents who were other peoples parents, do they see their parents like we saw our parents?

Ya know (and try to follow me here) because what I didn’t learn from my parents I wouldn’t expect someone else to learn from them. So if a someone came along and learned that my parents even though I didn’t, was I just closed off or is that someone just that messed up too?

But with the kids of the parents we adopt, do the kids think that we are stealing or so they think that we are just as messed up too? Do the children of the great adopted parents we have, appreciate their parents like we do, or is it just something in children to reject parents?

I admit, I rejected a lot and learned only what benefited me at the time. I was (am) spoiled and selfish and thought (think) I knew it all. So if I was being grounded for something or in trouble for something, I didn’t pay any attention to the lesson or any meaning of it all. The only mistakes that I think I learned from are the ones that I had to really personally suffer from. Not the ones that I got in trouble for from my mom.

Now I’m married, now I’m thinking about children and how I want to raise them. Now I need to learn and so does Joey. Often am I realizing another mother or father figure that I’m pulling from. I know that I have not much to offer them and they might not realize that they have anything to offer me but I’m pulling from what I’m seeing works. I pray I’m like the couples that are still together and like the mother that had a real relationship with her kids. I see it in so many people and I respect and appreciate them like a child would a parent.

I’m mumbling on and on. So this is what I think about the true colors part. You must recognize the colors and if they aren’t bleeding through to you, find colors that will.

I come from a dysfunctional family, and so does Joey. So now we are trying, with all our power not to carry on the dysfunction. I’m sorry to our family if it seems like we aren’t happy, because truly, we are. We love the way our family’s are but we know that the way the world is, it almost seems okay that our family’s are torn apart. It’s not and I want a rock solid family, strong in faith and agape love. I want my kids to really know all their aunts and uncles. I want my kids to never know what it’s like to grow up without a dad. And so we love our family, but we are in the situation to pull from other sources.

I’m sitting here, watching Joey be around a father he never had. I’m watching his eyes light up like a childs and I’m seeing him record every moment in his head so he doesn’t forget the feeling. I love this. I love that this moment might effect how Joey is with our future children. I love also knowing that I had this moment too today. A moment when I got to just be, and be accepted and loved as I ate popcorn and relaxed on her side. I’m just excited overall that God had given us amazing parents and that I can be so blessed to have so many.

P.S. now if only they would know that I’m family and send over the cupcake recipes… ; )

Advertisements