I think I’m a very good wife for me being me.

I havn’t been married long enough to sit here and type some amazing advice for people to want to follow or believe or anything of that sort. I have been married over a year and a half. Actually, One year, six months, and 6 days to be percise. Tecnically still a newly wed, but I deffinatly do not feel it.

But I did want to share a perspective that I have come to realize. Something that means so much to me. Its funny because once I mentally figured it out, I could physically see it.

Let me explain the physical part first. When we got married, we by luck and grace of God, got some really nice wedding bands. Mine was a white gold band that was a size too big and shiny. Joey’s was a band that I had bought a year earlier, but joey returned becuase he knew we needed the money for bills. We didn’t have the money BUT God provided them and they were perfect. Not a scratch, dents, spec of imperfectness on them.

Well, now, I look at my ring and I see many little heirline scratches and imperfections on them, however its still so shiny. I happen to walk past a pawn shop when I noticed this so I took it in to get a street price on it and they told me a price alot more than what I had bought it for at Macy’s.

Point being, the ring is still worth something, worth more after all its been through.

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I cannot remember a time that I have been with my husband that has been easy. I can remember wonderful times of being with him, but never an easy time. We have always had a hard time just living. Money was never there to cover the costs. I can’t hold a job because I get bord and that was part of it too. But we have never been in a position to just be. Not worry about food or bills or rent or health or family issues. Im very serious when I say it has always been something. I’ve said this so many times to Joey, “I would rather be homeless with you on the streets eating at the food bank than leave you and lead an easier life” and he has always agreed.

I’m not sure as to why we can never come out on top with money. He works his butt off and I am no longer a spoiled brat wasting money on junk. But we never have been able to just go out to eat without having to adjust our budget. We can’t go on a date unless financial planning goes into it. We end up doing fine in the end. Dealing with what we are given. But if you can imagine the kind of overwhelming stress it brings.

I read in an article about how to have a successful marriage and it said that the first 3 years need to be stressfree to make it in the later years. I laughed and turned to Joey saying that according to that magazine, we wouldn’t make it.

So I start to think about it even deeper. The person I was when I met him is so different than who I am. No one would have ever thought that I would be the kind of wife I am now. I was selfish, materialistic, and a brat. I threw fits when I didn’t have enough money. Broke up with guys over material crap (not that I regret that now). And now I am so opposite than that. I am a serving wife putting him first.  Not that I am saying I am perfect, but I am saying I am sooooo much better than I ever thought I would be. Even better than I thought I would be when I got married.

However, I can’t not remember all the bumps, the scratches from the stress and imperfections I’ve aloud. I’m just like my ring. Shiny and worth something, escpecially to Joey, but so so imperfect.

Being with Joey could possibly be the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Not because I married Joey but that I ended up with him. If I chose my selfish life, I can see myself in a horrible place that wouldn’t seem so bad but would be. Never having anyone I could trust, not knowing Jesus like I do now, pitiful in all ways. But I did end up with Joey and even though at times I want better. A better car, home, clothes, crap. I know that if God gave me that, I’d have that horrible life. The life God and Joey saved me from.

 I am so happy that they thought I was worth something when they knew the me long ago. Before I became a good wife.

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