aaaI spent a hour at the river again today and I was amazed my God’s Glory. That I might think that He made that river just for me so that I could enjoy it…

But first I need to tell you about Joey’s Love. Agape. And sometimes in an odd way.

It’s interesting to me to sit here in my room and listen to him cry out to his brother… His love for his brother that pushes him to express it and since he can’t get through to his brother, I feel that I can actually hear his heart breaking. I feel that I can hear him yelling out LOVE and it being shot down by young ignorance. Joey loves his brothers. He really loves his younger brother because he see’s so much in him. He see’s possibility and hope but right now it’s being thrown away. Joey wants an amazing life for his brother, he would give up everything he could ever get in life  for his brother to have a great life.

That’s whats killing him, the disrespect he gets while he’s giving agape.

I knew when I met Joey that his brothers were upset by Joey’s choice to be with me. I knew how angry his younger brother became at me when we moved up to Auburn(400 miles away). I could see his anger rage at me when we got married but I never let it bother me because I couldn’t.  I couldn’t fight his brother for something that natuarally happens in peoples lifes. I never ment to “steal” Joey but that’s how it was seen. I stole him.

I basically wanted to write about how Joey loves.  Agape. He loves so real and true to people. It kills him when things aren’t good for them and he can’t do anything to make it better. His brother might have thought Joey was yelling at him but I only heard Joey crying out to his brother to live the great life he has in front of him and not the bad one he’s trying to go down. Joey wants him to hear that love so he can know that Joey really loves him and really really wants him to succeed.

I felt something in me to write about this because when agape is presant, it’s powerful and touches me. I can feel it even though I am in another room. I can feel it in my stomach, an actual physical feeling. I get love from Joey everyday but I don’t hear Joey cry out everyday for someone to know he loves them. It’s amazing and I am so lucky to have a man of God that can agape and not just love on the surface.

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On to the Glory!

I used to go to church summer camp in middle school and high school and I would be on a “Jesus High”. Than come home and be back to spoiled brat ways.

It hit me last week, that high. I was down at the river, relaxing with my feet in the water, reading a christian novel. God was there. He was right next to me, in me, everywhere around me. I would have cried if I didn’t start to sing praise to Him.

Being down at the river, I can look at the water and see peace, than I realize it’s God wiping away all my sins when I ask of him. Pushing the past of regrets and bad memories with the tide and allowing me to start anew when I head back up the mountain.

I think that everyone relates with elements of the world( ya know, water, fire, air… that kind of stuff). I think I relate best to water. I become calm and think straight when I am at the beach or at the river/lake. I can talk easier with God when I am there and I think it helps that I don’t have distractions.

I went down again today and I swear it was like the river was there for me. Peace was there for me. God was there for me and willing to listen and forgive me for my stipid sins that I can’t seem to ever get away from.

It all just makes me happy. I have a great husband and a Father that really loves me and will always forgive me….

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