aaaaaaaI want this whole stupid thing to be over.

Its waisting the holiday time and nothing seems to be coming from it other than depressing me.

I want to give up on the whole stupid issue but I keep remembering that pastor phil said.

When people normally give up, its right when God is about to work the magic.

Well, I want to give up so I need this miracle.

I have less than 10 days for it all to figure itself out.

I will not live in crap and I will not foolishly pay too much.

I know where my family is and I know where I will be spending 50% of my time.

3 different places. I cant be in all of them at the same time.

I should just move to Mexico so it doesn’t make sence to anyone because Im not pleasing anyone while Im not even pleasing myself.

This is just getting stupid.

Maybe right now I am mad, Maybe Im just feeling the holiday stress.

I got 21 days til school starts, my promotion starts soon, I cant be dealing with this when that all starts. I need to focus on that and I cant let myself mess up.

I can only turn to God cause all my other corners have their backs to me. However, I feel like Im not understanding, not hearing, not feeling what Im suppost to do.

I end up feeling depressed, all I want to do is go to work and hide from life. There I am wanted and Im going places. There I laugh and enjoy. There is starbucks and smiles. However there is not all my life and I cant just run away.

at least I do go to work in 3 hours.

so here is what I praise God for…

aaafor the weather.

for my kitties.

for there being a christmas in the first place.

for good health in all my family.

for my grandfather.

for my car always working because of Him.

for clean laundry.

for a good job.

for paychecks.

for popcorn.

for hope.

for life today.

for Him always standing right next to me.

Thank God