hopeful journey

rarely will this ever happen in my household, but it currently is. We are (separately) watching an Obama speach.

He says something great that is going to change

“No American should go broke because he is sick”

the room stands up

sits down

“It is required for insurance to cover preventitive care like mamograms and colenoscopies”

Stand up

Sit down.

It started to look like a show. Like lets all pretend we like what’s happening… lets all wear really brights colors to get noticed, lets have rich snudy faces and show no expression while we sit down and stand up….

not that I don’t think what Obama is saying isn’t great, but this just doesn’t seem real.

I’m happy about this change.

“Lets build on what works and fix what doesn’t”

hey, I’m all for that, but just because Michelle is around does not give old women to dress in bright yellow and red.

But this I don’t understand, he says that insurance will become affordable for every american who doesn’t get it at work… well there is affordable insurance and I still can’t afford it BUT need it…. sorry, makes no sence.

now requiring it makes sense like covering auto insurance, but if you don’t make real money and live paycheck to paycheck like I do, you are now being forces to spend money you don’t have…

God help this… me

I spent a hour at the river again today and I was amazed my God’s Glory. That I might think that He made that river just for me so that I could enjoy it…

But first I need to tell you about Joey’s Love. Agape. And sometimes in an odd way.

It’s interesting to me to sit here in my room and listen to him cry out to his brother… His love for his brother that pushes him to express it and since he can’t get through to his brother, I feel that I can actually hear his heart breaking. I feel that I can hear him yelling out LOVE and it being shot down by young ignorance. Joey loves his brothers. He really loves his younger brother because he see’s so much in him. He see’s possibility and hope but right now it’s being thrown away. Joey wants an amazing life for his brother, he would give up everything he could ever get in life  for his brother to have a great life.

That’s whats killing him, the disrespect he gets while he’s giving agape.

I knew when I met Joey that his brothers were upset by Joey’s choice to be with me. I knew how angry his younger brother became at me when we moved up to Auburn(400 miles away). I could see his anger rage at me when we got married but I never let it bother me because I couldn’t.  I couldn’t fight his brother for something that natuarally happens in peoples lifes. I never ment to “steal” Joey but that’s how it was seen. I stole him.

I basically wanted to write about how Joey loves.  Agape. He loves so real and true to people. It kills him when things aren’t good for them and he can’t do anything to make it better. His brother might have thought Joey was yelling at him but I only heard Joey crying out to his brother to live the great life he has in front of him and not the bad one he’s trying to go down. Joey wants him to hear that love so he can know that Joey really loves him and really really wants him to succeed.

I felt something in me to write about this because when agape is presant, it’s powerful and touches me. I can feel it even though I am in another room. I can feel it in my stomach, an actual physical feeling. I get love from Joey everyday but I don’t hear Joey cry out everyday for someone to know he loves them. It’s amazing and I am so lucky to have a man of God that can agape and not just love on the surface.

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On to the Glory!

I used to go to church summer camp in middle school and high school and I would be on a “Jesus High”. Than come home and be back to spoiled brat ways.

It hit me last week, that high. I was down at the river, relaxing with my feet in the water, reading a christian novel. God was there. He was right next to me, in me, everywhere around me. I would have cried if I didn’t start to sing praise to Him.

Being down at the river, I can look at the water and see peace, than I realize it’s God wiping away all my sins when I ask of him. Pushing the past of regrets and bad memories with the tide and allowing me to start anew when I head back up the mountain.

I think that everyone relates with elements of the world( ya know, water, fire, air… that kind of stuff). I think I relate best to water. I become calm and think straight when I am at the beach or at the river/lake. I can talk easier with God when I am there and I think it helps that I don’t have distractions.

I went down again today and I swear it was like the river was there for me. Peace was there for me. God was there for me and willing to listen and forgive me for my stipid sins that I can’t seem to ever get away from.

It all just makes me happy. I have a great husband and a Father that really loves me and will always forgive me….

This horrible horrible woman is in jail today thank god and her baby is recovering healthy in a hospital…. or as healthy as it can get…

This mother of the year owned a pitbull that used to be a fighting dog. While she was asleep and the baby was awake in a cradle chair, the dog nibbled off the baby’s toes. The dog at the babies toes!!!!

The mother of the year claims she was asleep in the same room and never heard the baby cry…. ARE YOUR SERIOUS??????

and this is where it gets worst, she didn’t notice until the next morning that her child had NO TOES!!!!

oh this makes me so mad…. Im okay with pitbulls, rots, huge dogs in general, but not a dog that used to be a fighting dog or is aggressive….

Ugh!!!

thankfully she is being charged with a felony

 The first way for me to start my perfect morning is making a tall cup of coffee. The day isn’t sunny without it. Joey thinks that I should stop drinking coffee but thats like asking the pope to stop reading the bible. (I think the pope reads the bible)

I get comfy in the right corner of my sofa and turn on Sex and the City that recorded the night before and spend the next hour waking up. Natalie says  I should stop watching Sex and the City but thats like asking model to not wear high heels….

that one was dumb

but maybe its because Im not done watching Sex and the City yet. Im almost awake…

To be honest, I completely forgot about you. Im sorry. I normally use the wireless internet from my downstairs neighbors but they turned it off and I forgot.

Here is the perfect place to release everything that has been going on and I forgot. Im sorry again and lets never mention this… lol

So my mexican (Joey) has a new amazing  job at a great hotel and for the first time in my adult life I have actually been able to pay off all my current bills. Cable, electricity, rent, cell phones, the whole group at a zero balance. The relief is amazing! I don’t have to worry about what will be turned off or where am I going to get the money to pay the bill. I am so so ___________…. I don’t even know what word to use for this feeling.

Anyways, a new car is coming soon and this makes me relieved. No more walking around hill country.

Maybe Im the only one who has ever felt his way about bills…. am I?